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Re-Writing Our Vows

Me: “I hope we get to stay married for a long time and you don’t die.”
Ian: “Um…me too? Also, why am I the one dying in this scenario?”
Me: “Because the other night we took that quiz online about how long we’ll live, and I’m living until I’m 96. Duh.”
Ian: “Oh, right.”

Silence.

Me, tearing up: “If you do die, would you want me to get re-married?”
Ian: “Oh God. We’re having this conversation?”
Me: “Yes, it’s important!”
Ian: “It’s really not.”

Silence.

Ian: “Fine. If I die, I’d like you to re-marry again eventually. I mean, feel free to grieve for a while, though. But yeah, I’d want you to be happy and it’d be nice for you to have a partner.”
Me: “Aw, that’s so nice of you. But I probably wouldn’t love him as much.”
Ian: “Probably?”
Me: “It depends on who I meet.”
Ian: “I love you, too.”

Silence.

Ian: “So if you die, do you want me to re-marry?”
Me: “I mean, honestly? No, not really. I want you to love me forever. But then I’d feel bad and you are too good of a guy and I do love you unselfishly, I guess. So I’d want you to find someone if she makes you happy. But please not some annoying woman who would badly influence our girls. I’ll haunt you forever.”
Ian: “You’re haunting me forever regardless of whether you’re dead or alive.”
Me: “We really should re-write our vows.”