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The Breakfast Cereal Ranking

The other day, we had this discussion while watching a commercial for Cinnamon Toast Crunch:

Me: “Man, Cinnamon Toast Crunch is delicious.”
Ian: “The best.”
Me: “Especially the milk when you’re done with the cereal.”
Ian: “Yes! That was always my favorite part.”
Me: “When we were kids, my mom would sometimes let us pick a special cereal that she wouldn’t typically buy for us. I remember very vividly being really excited when I chose Cookie Crisp. Literally you’re eating cookies for breakfast.”
Ian: “Yeah, my grandma would have those variety packs.”
Me: “Yessssssss. Those were the best.”


Me: “How would you rank your favorite bad-for-you cereals?”
Ian, thinking.
Me, impatient: “For me it’d be Lucky Charms, then Cookie Crisp…..”
Ian: “Yeah, those are both good. But I think Cinnamon Toast Crunch would be first…”
Me: “That’s up there for me, too.”
Ian: “Pops were good, Fruit Loops, Apple Jacks…”
Me: “You’re just naming delicious breakfast cereals, but not ranking them.”
Ian, laughing: “Definitely Cinnamon Toast Crunch first….maybe Fruity Pebbles second?”
Me: “Ooh! I liked Smacks, too. ”
Ian: “Those were good.”
Me: “And Golden Grahams.”
Ian: “Oh man, my mom used to break up graham crackers and put them in milk. That’s definitely top for me. That’s soooo good.”
Me: “I never really got into Fruity Pebbles, but they were good. I mean, if we had them in the house, I’d eat them for sure.”
Ian: “Definitely.”
Me: “You know what was always good dry? Frosted Flakes.”
Ian: “Yeah, Frosted Flakes weren’t bad.”
Me: “And frosted mini wheats. Basically anything frosted.”
Ian: “Eh, frosted mini wheats are too dry.”
Me: “They have frosting on them.”
Ian: “Not interested.”

Two days later, via email:

Me: “We forgot Captain Crunch!”
Ian: “Haha not a fan. I actually don’t think I’ve ever had it.”
Me: “Um, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? That’s absurd. Also, you said “not a fan” and then told me you actually don’t think you’ve ever had it. You can’t be both. I love it. I will buy it. You will try it and I bet you will like it.”
Ian: “It looks boring! And I heard rumors it cuts the roof of your mouth up.”
Me: “Um, you’ve heard Captain Crunch rumors? That’s a thing?”
Ian: “I googled Cap’n Crunch and apparently it was a thing.”
Me: “That’s not hearing rumors, for the record, that’s googling Cap’n Crunch.”


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Nobdy ever said we were the best parents. After being sick for nearly a week and sleeping propped up with a ton of pillows so that my gross face would drain (you’re welcome), I got a kink in my neck.

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